negative depression person

1_
My counceller in my country. She is moving to other hospital because her resident is over.
I didn't say anything and ask about her information to contact in the future. even she said that  want u to see me in the future.
I don't know why but She gave me the wing and I thought it's time to fly myself.
I met her 2011 October. That time was full of sadness. My crying seems never stop. I prefered to fell a sleep to forget my sadness. and so I slept more than 20 hours a day.
Thank u very much professional. u r so beautiful and kind in this world.

2_
I took one lexapro, and half insomnia phills. but my body doesnt seems like feel anything to go to sleep.
What should I do?
just wait and think about my project or resaerch.
I have headache after hearing about something from sharehouse mate. she saud u looks so peaceful even u r in yr.3
Thank u so much u gave me serious headache and insomnia gift tonight~

3_
I want friend
I do not want friend

I want to talk
I do not want to talk

I want to die

4_
What am I doing for the future?
stay at London such a hell?
go back to my country and stay at luxury mantion with wearing high price one-piece?

Who going to stay at the hell?
But I want to stay at the Hell like London.
The reason?
Just one thing.

I can do alone whatever I want.
I can have dinner alone and go shopping alone and study alone
and walk alone